Today was your birthday, today was the one day that we didn't fight, the day that everything was nice and harmonious, that day that led to me eventually for without you neither my mom or I would exist, those moments in which we played cards when I was little, and you always let me win, or when you would methodically peel grapes and take their seeds off for me, you were a horrible and an amazing person at the same time, I owe you a lot more than I realize today, maybe one day I will realize how much that actually is...
My mourning wasn't actually a mourning, I was sure of where you went, and I even got to talk to you afterwords, having your bedroom empty was harder than I thought it would be, on me and mom, but you were happy there, you were sad there, you had your life there, and now we are giving it to somebody else to have their life story in that house. The house that has your soul in it because I feel it every night, and even when you are not there, this day became harder suddenly for me, you'd tell me to quit if I have it hard here, that it didn't matter, that you'd give me money so I wouldn't have to ask mom for it...
I don't know if I'll be able to bear the house completely empty... but it's a job I took on myself so mom can have it easier, I am glad she got to have your relationship back to where it was supposed to be, a mom and daughter relationship, when you felt the need to hug each other, and I am glad you were able to see your youngest before you went away.
In a very strange way I am happy for you, for us, for the shitty relationship we had, and for the amazing one that we once had as well.
Happy birthday grandma.
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